Insomnia - Feelings

Suffering from insomnia right now.. I can't sleep. Thinking about stuff. But worst of all, feeling quite dejected. For the first 3 months of my attachment in NMH, I couldn't wait to leave. I was practically counting down to my last day on 05/12. But when it came close, I was enjoying myself too much to care if I am ever to leave NMH or not. I work with a great load of people at the front desk, we are like an inseparable bunch. Now I am wishing that each second will feel like 1 minute so I can enjoy every moment spent with each of them. Already thinking of all the gifts I am gonna buy for them so I am gonna be super broke at the end of the month.hehe.

At times, it feels like torture working there. You can't wait for it to end so the day gets closer. You just wanna be done with it and drift away so you won't have to get yourself affected in any way. You wouldn't want to go down that road again after how things turned out. More like giving yourself a breath of fresh air first before taking a swim through the ocean again. The swimmer in the ocean gets all the attention from the fishes in the deep blue sea. Sometimes, things doesn't go your way. Just want to be silent about it because silence sometimes works out for the best. Never know, in a few years, it might happen. But now is not the right time. Friends give you encouragement and advice. All you want to do is be okay with everything when you end your journey there for the time being. Going with the flow, taking it easy, give yourself a chill. When you get excited about something, its kinda difficult to calm yourself or pretend like you don't care at all. People read you like a window, you can't hide your feelings especially when its that obvious. All you can do is deny but you know what they say is true because you do feel it. That's why its torture, you were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. But, speaking of fate. You were at the right place at the right time. When it all ended, something came along. You didn't dismiss it, you cherished it. Those first few seconds, you could tell feelings would last. Coincidence or Fate? You don't wish to know for you know that you have overdone things which you should have left it as they are. You wanna get rid of the past and embrace the present but the present will end pretty soon. These last few weeks are is got you got to enjoy every second you have. You never thought something new would come along and you just want time to freeze. Just to look at the magnificent picture in reality, to see things in slow motion but all you can do is imagine it slowly in your mind,in your heart.

I think I have said quite enough for now. Cheers!